Breakfast at Target Does "The Whole 30" - Part 1

:: Breakfast at Target Does the Whole 30: Part 1 ::

It's no surprise I've got a thing for food. Well, and a thing for constantly talking, thinking, and obsessing over it. In a high school beauty pageant, I listed "lunch" as one of my hobbies (this was hardly the reason I didn't win - shocking, I know). On an application for a job, there was a question "What are you passionate about?" I responded: "Goat cheese."

All true stories, people.

As time wore on, I found myself in a complicated relationship with food. I would use food as rewards, as punishment, as a means of temporary pleasure and escape... sometimes as a means of control and restriction. Generally speaking, I ate fairly "healthy" and a predominantly vegetarian diet, but I ate just as much bad stuff as I did good. I convinced myself my constant on-the-go lifestyle paired with exercising 4-6x's a week gave me the excuse to carry on with my eating habits the way I did. After all, I wasn't overweight, I didn't have any disruptive/chronic medical conditions, I knew "diets" are stupid and don't work, and I figured I'd always deal with any potential problems when they arose. I was "too busy" and "too important" to let something like having Oreos stashed in my cupboard be a major issue.

(Did I just say "cupboard"? What am I, eighty?)  

Cue the symptomatic problems that showed up in college and got worse in the years ahead: Painful, constant acne; sleeplessness; headaches; exhaustion; irritability;  extreme muscle fatigue during workouts; anxiety; sharp, painful stomach pains that accompanied bouts of anxiety. I chalked it all up to the pressures of life and the madness that was my world. I tried desperately to address each of these issues: expensive creams and cleansers for the break-outs; sleeping medications for the insomnia; self-help literature for anxiety and irritability. The "cures" were short-lived and temporary. In fact they got worse as the conditions adapted to the remedies, creating more anxiety and depression from complete loss of control over being to fix the problems. Of course, I turned to my Chick-Fil-A waffle fries (and regular waffles) and other "treat-yo-self" foods. The cycle continued.

After hearing the buzz about Whole 30 and learning from a few friends who had done it and experienced great results, I did my research. After a couple of weeks of reading up on the plan, I made the decision to go for it. For those of you unfamiliar, here's the breakdown: No grains, no dairy, no sugars (of any kind, not even "natural" ones), no legumes, and no alcohol (YA HEARD RIGHT) for 30 days.

I know what you're thinking:
DEAR LORD, why would you do such a thing?

There's no easy way to nutshell the answer to that (seriously, just go take 30 seconds to skim the context of the program). Basically I was tired of feeling like a run-down old hag being a slave to poor food choices. If 30 days could break me free of this, what really did I have to lose?

In May 2014, I dove head first. I ripped the non-Whole 30 foods from the cupboards (what? again?) and stuffed the fridge full of colorful veggies, fruits, and high-quality meat. Little did I know the struggle that would lay ahead.

As the 30 day challenge is a lot to cover in one post, I've broken it into two: Part 1) What I experienced during the Whole 30*; and Part 2) What I learned from the experience. Below is a recap using artistic renderings crafted carefully by yours truly. (I know what you're thinking - despite my lack of future in beauty pageants, I should've been an art-TEEST.)

*Disclaimer: These results are not necessarily typical, and that's the thing - everyone experiences it differently.

Days 1 - 3: Come at me, brah.

I am ALL about a challenge; I'm also obsessive about planning. So, OF COURSE, being armed with a bevy of knowledge and a plan AND clear-as-day rules, I knew I was going to kick this Whole 30 in the face. It took a little extra preparation and research to stick with the meals, read labels, and do all the other things you need to do for optimal success... but ultimately, I hit the ground running. The next month was going to be a breeze.

Days 3 - 4: The Junkie Phase

Having gone my first 3 dinners successfully without ending them with dessert, I started jonesin' for a treat. I have the world's WORST sweet tooth, but knew I just needed to ride it out. I went to bed that night and kid-you-not, had the most bizarre dreams about chocolate chip cookies, cake, buttery, cheesy mashed potatoes, YOU name it. What proceeded was 48 hours of shear torture and hysteria - I swore I smelled brownies everywhere and heard ice cream trucks circling our apartment. I broke out into full on sweats, shakes, and crying fits. I called John some pretty offensive names when I found him snacking on some leftover Easter candy (oh, right, did I mention he was NOT doing the Whole 30?). The cravings for sugar and carbs were so violent my muscles tightened and sensitivity to noises and light heightened. I was devastated both by my need to just get a morsel of chocolate and realizing just how much of an addict I was. 

Days 5 - 10: Just Let Me Die

I have never, EVER, experienced the devastating exhaustion as I did during this point. As the last of the sugars and simple carbs and processed junk left my system, my body essentially went through a giant reformatting. As it struggled to operate without the addictive foods I normally consumed and process the highly nutrient dense foods I was now shoving in (i.e., no "quick energy" carbs and sugars), I was in a cloudy funk. Y'all, I was TIRED. I felt heavy, sluggish, and defeated. There were many points during these days I thought I should just give up because the fatigue was so debilitating, but I trudged onward.

Days 11 - 15: The Whole 30 High

I distinctly remember waking up one morning feeling light and being totally alert. No heavy, groggy, hazy funk. I felt clear-headed, focused, and efficient. The cravings had gone away as had the fatigue. I wrote down two pages of "To Do's" on my trusty legal pad and blazed through the entire thing in one day. I was hyper-present in the moment, and the path to getting seemingly chaotic and confusing projects tackled became clear and direct. Some people note a "burst of energy" at this point, but for me it was more that I was energized by my ability to focus and get sh*t done. It was AWESOME.

Day 16 - 19: The Betrayal

Just as my magical superpowers of productivity and focus reached their height, I was slapped down by my own body deciding it had ENOUGH. My gut rallied a strike with its rag-tag team of other digestive system buddies, refusing to cooperate any longer. I was gassy, bloated, and constipated... not a single thing helped alleviate the pain or the alien-esque distention in my belly. I literally had to stop eating for a day because there was no room in my stomach to put it. I felt dizzy and sick, wanting again to throw in the towel... I just didn't think this was worth it. But with the days getting close to single-digit range, I had to see this through until the end.

Day 20 - 23: Paranoia 

As the "Betrayal" phase finally wore off and I stabilized again, I started to develop a weird nervousness and anxiety. Being so close to the end and having gone through everything thus far, I lived in a paralyzing fear of screwing it all up. I had people rooting for me and wanting to see me successfully complete the Whole 30. I needed to do it for them as much as myself. Similarly, I was following the Whole 30 Instagram and other social media outlets; I wasn't experiencing the same "dramatic," sunshine-and-butterflies results or pulling off the gorgeous, amazing meals as others who were completing the program. I felt like I was falling behind or simply doing it all wrong. Failure felt imminent... 

Day 24 - 30: Peace, Love, and Whole-iness

Then, thankfully, a restful calm spread over my Whole 30 experience. I floated through the remaining days of the program feeling centered, peaceful. Food and I found a balance with one another, a mutual understanding that what we eat is about nourishment and cognitive responses to happy times with good people -- not a drug or device to be abused and manipulated. I started sleeping more soundly, my skin started clearing up, and my body felt efficient in using the energy I was putting into it. In fact, I extended the program another couple of days to make sure I really sealed in the effect; I also wanted to make sure I fully prepared myself for the reintroduction post-Whole 30. Okay, and maybe I was just really enjoying the zen, man.

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To sum up the 30 day experience: It was intense. I mean, you eat - generally speaking - 3 times a day  and have been for quite some time. Completely overhauling the way you approach food is something you have to give lots of attention to... and you find yourself analyzing every food choice you've ever made. Obviously, too, what you put in your body has direct, sometimes immediate effects. In essence, it's a major shock to the system. Not just the physical body, but mentally, too... 

And we'll get more into that in Part 2.

So, stay tuned friends. 

Stay tuned.

Until next time, 

Hugs & high fives.

-C