The Heat of Summer Sunshine Has Awaken My Spirits & Fried My Brain

I have a flippity-gillion thoughts floating in my head, and I've made a deal with myself to spit them out a little bit better now that school is coming to a close and things are winding down. Suffice it to say that the summer bloggings will more than likely consist of updates on the ol' Charleston Bucket List, which are surprisingly coming along, and unrelated "Philoso-C's" (ponderings by yours truly). I need reassurance that I am, indeed, as wonderfully ridiculous in my precocious views of the world as I imagine.

As one of my projects is revamping my blog, I've got a few ideas for a new intro header... but it's majorly still in the works. John and I went out and played on Sullivan's Island recently (right after the Sesame date, described below), taking pictures along the water with the incredible afternoon sun that I'm convinced can only appropriately be appreciated as far from the bustle of society as possible. With his help, we set up a few shots that may work well (we hope) and I edited a few I liked. I'll let you decide. Side note: You can click on the pictures for a larger view!

Picture 1:

Serious-yet-whimsical-Celia.
Definitely in the running, but I'm not sure it's "me" enough for my chaotic excuse for a blog. So, perhaps we should go with...

Picture 2:

Celia-gets-hit-in-the-face-by-a-giant-nasty-bug.
Surprisingly, it's the photographic embodiment of "the story of my life." I'm trying to be cute, pull off something meaningful, and take things a little seriously... and I get smacked with something totally unpleasant. Let's keep looking. Ooooh!...

Picture 3:

Dancer Pose!
Wildly attempting to pull off one of my favorite yoga poses to loosen up and find inspiration, and suddenly remembered how my yoga instructor, Mandy, always talks about grounding into the earth... and for once I actually could, and it made me so happyyyy!!!

Okay, last one.
Picture 4:
"Oh, hah-lo, and welcome to mai blog."
I did make it to the Charleston Tea Plantation (where this photo was taken), and thought maybe I could really bring on the cheese by putting my blog title in the corner. ;) Just a thought!

For now, I have a busy week ahead with work (last week of school until summer, whoooa!), and my Chihuahuas are already snoring in my bed. I shall join them.

My First Foodie Post: Sesame Burgers & Beer

I'm thrilled to announce that I finally made the effort to bring my camera along to one of my very favoritest dining establishments and take time to make mental notes as to why I just adore it. John (my super cool boyfriend, to you new readers) encouraged me to give a stab; here goes.

So, we ventured to North Charleston, SC -- the site of my current AmeriCorps term. Originally, we had every intention to set out and check out the first ever gay pride parade in the Charleston area. Well, delayed by an overdue Saturday morning sleep-in and subsequent coffee conversation... we never quite made it to the parade. However, we did meet up my supervisor from work and a few of her North Charleston pals at "the pub" with many avid parade goers. Close enough. :)

Early afternoon finally brought on the stomach rumbles, so we made the quick jaunt down the street to Sesame Burgers & Beer. It's a local favorite for sure, but one of the ever popular questions I get when I tell lowcountry folks I work in North Charleston: "OMG! Have you ever been to Sesame?" Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen. I have.

This pic is actually stolen from Charleston Daily Photo blog. I forgot to snap one on the way out!

One of the best features of this place is there's literally something for everyone. Of course the burgers are fantastic, but they have all these crazy soups, salads, appetizers, and sandwiches (almost forgot desserts!)... any palate can be satisfied! I also love that the burgers can be prepared for any diet: beef, turkey, grilled chicken, or black bean (my personal favorite). Check out the menu on the web page for details on the different combos and toppings. Further, they house make the ketchup (has a hint of garlic and extremely yummy) and pickles - slightly sweet and tangy! Also, sides are additional which at first I thought was a rip off. But I quickly learned the burgers are more than enough food, so it hasn't bothered me. However, their sweet potato fries are amazing and it's often a special splurge.

My all time favorite meal at Sesame is the slider plate; I can never make up my mind and am spoiled when it comes to variety, so it's great for the indecisive. I highly recommend the Gourmet, the Italian, and the South Carolina. (Okay, I was actually so excited for my lunch and beyond starving, so I downed most of my South Carolina slider before I remembered to start snapping pictures. Luckily John has the large, beefy version on his plate!)

And did I mention they have an super beer selection? Another palate pleasing selection and often lots of happy hour specials. My new favorite is Dundee's Honey Brown Ale; goes down smooth like a dark beer with a crisp, clean, slightly sweet finish. A tad pricey, but I'd rather have one of those guys than a couple of cheap brews any day.


The Sesame family grew a few months ago when it opened its 2nd store in the Citadel Mall in West Ashley, but I think I'll always be loyal to the "Upchuck" location. I love how it's literally a hole-in-the-wall place and looks a little less than stellar on the outside, but once you get inside you instantly feel the warm, eclectic feel of the place. Only thing is to go at a random time because the lunch and dinner rush can leave you waiting a while. But with a fully stocked bar and 65 beers to choose from, the wait for your delicious burger is worth it. :)

Going Crazy in a World So Lovely; My Insanity is Perfectly Necessary.

I'm definitely in one of those moods where I'd love to buy a cake from Publix and take a fork to it. I'm thinking of turning off Facebook for a while because every log in is like a slap in the face. Not even my beloved Facebook Scrabble is worth the risk of being reminded I'm stagnant in the days of rapid change for many of my pals.

All around me I notice I'm still trapped in the poetically pathetic "single gal" lifestyle I've somehow gotten myself into... and oddly enough, grown very accustomed to. (And by 'single' I hope you understand I'm still very much devoted to the love of my life, THE Mr. John Carroll - *muah!* love yaaa, shweet-haht!). By this I find myself living vicariously through others, wondering when I'm ever going to reach those certain 'points' in life. The more I convince myself I'll get 'there', I realize my rather usually keen sense of navigation holds no bearings in the journey of life.

(That was deep, and you know it. Take it in, muchachos.)

Overall, I feel like I'm plagued with the Lost Boys Syndrome.... I never want to grow up. Though I wholeheartedly value my independence and feel I take very good care of myself, I somehow get scared I never have and never will fully develop the urge to be domestic, to be a corporate tycoon, or to simply settle down. I have a natural tendency to move a mile a minute and my sense of complacency comes from knowing that things can and will change on my own terms. I'm also scared of having too much responsibility to one or more people... the fear of failure far exceeds my fear of the mundane.

As much as I feel lost and mildly immature in my 'real world' progression, I also feel a sense of peace in the last few weeks. I'm only 24, so there's no sense in rushing the unknown when I'm months away from re-entering the world of deadlines and exams; and goodness knows I'm going to be kicking it for AT LEAST 100 more years (in case you haven't noticed, I take pretty faaabulous care of myself). I've come to terms with many things even a year ago I was questioning; I've washed my hands of negative 'friends' and influences; and I've taken great pride in the things I have worked so hard to accomplish. Further, I've discovered many little things that make me happy and have learned to walk away from situations that make me feel out of sorts. My frequent anxiety and unfortunate habit of letting small nuisances get to me still plague my daily interactions; but I've come a long way. I'm working to go even farther.

And, I have to admit I have a pretty stellar group of people in my life I wish nothing - NOTHING - but the best for; I finally understand what it means to be thankful for the good fortune bestowed on others. In a recent conversation with my friend Anne (whom I thank God every day that I reconnected with when I moved to Charleston), I discovered that finding yourself is as easy as simply doing what makes YOU happy and letting your connection with others manifest in a way that's both special and meaningful to both (or all!). I always envied the 'cool kids' who had an ever constant group of pals. However, I don't think I would've understood parts of myself without having taken on new adventures and meeting those new people along the way. The people I hold dear are the people who, too, have taught me to celebrate other's achievements and luck... and simply know how to make me smile. :)

The world is ready for me to grab by the willy parts and make of it what I believe is best for myself and beautiful for those I'll leave it to when I've successfully used it up.

A Midnight Post.

My conditioning to the practices of being a young lady in an unsuspecting world has left me bewildered and dwelling on the negative facets of daily life, particularly as of late. I find myself more comfortable sitting just slightly on the periphery, far too anxious that I'll come across something I hadn't intended... I find myself scrutinizing the choices I make and things I say, wondering if I've ever given a reason for that person, group of people, or passerby to simply dislike me. I will tell you and convince myself the same that nothing is wrong, nothing is wrong. I'm not upset by the things you say; just jokes, right? Silly Celia - she can take it. And, of course, when I do eventually uncork and all the horrible internalizings of hurtful words and events comes to a head... no worries, that's just what being a girl is about. Another explosive episode in the petty details of life. Give me a glass rich with tannins and I'll be fine in the morning.

I'm exhausted from people playing and abusing the system while I try so hard to maintain an above-average quality of standards.
I'm tired of investigating needs and doing what's in my capacity to help reinstate a sense of order, progression, and an overall happy atmosphere, only to be stopped by red tape, apathy, or those who'd unfairly claim the intentions were theirs.

My 'happy place', the space and time and existence that makes me feel most like myself, is when I'm productive, providing real, direct help, and creating a sense of enthusiasm and light-heartedness in a world that spins chaotically. Further, when I'm doing something that I know is making my body, mind, and inner sense of self get stronger and more focused. I'm not the type to be idle or put myself in a situation where harm can come to the work I've done at being a better person. I'm far from where I want to be. But I like to smile. Humor is my beloved friend.

My appreciation for the intrinsic natures of the world -- the things we create and what inspires such creativity -- also gives me joy. Grass and bugs and sunshine. Water and pearls and animals. Colors and images and words. Because I don't understand something, I promise I still try to find why it's important. I have many subjects to explore, but there are some welded deep in my spirit I'll always come back to. Another part of my 'happy place.'

So please remember, deprecation is just that. Try to find how you connect with others, don't seek the conflicts. Bring people up. Negativity is already understood; we know, it does exist. Loathing is for those who can't appreciate, who can't understand.

I wish my defenses were stronger.
I thank God for the people and places in my life that provide a soulful comfort.
Excuse my stumble; this moment of weakness too will pass.
Silver lining? I know I will be surrounded by works of passion, mixed medias of expression and emotion, and living pieces of life I currently hold so dearly and wonderfully in the world I know. I hope there is more to learn.