"What You Share With the World is What It Keeps of You."

As the pressure to study for midterms and write papers and arrange events and give presentations gets more chaotic, I find that I've learned the art of simply existing - for often times, that's all I can do. I park my car a good bit away from where I work and in the 10min walk I have to where ever I'm going, I find myself retreating into my mind - so far sometimes I picture the neurons in my brain actively going off and creating a spectacular light show. I shut out the world by popping in my iPod and give myself one last chance to sort out any last minute negative thoughts so when I step through the door, I can leave my anxieties outside (don't worry, I always pick them up on my way out) and focus at the tasks at hand.

One song I find myself repeating constantly is called "Give a Little Love" by Noah and the Whale. I bought their album about a year ago on impulse because I heard one of their other songs and wanted more of their stuff (and iTunes was having a $7 sale... and you all know I love my deals). I love the last part of the song, after the big swell of music and right before the abrupt blast into the end. It goes a little something like this:

Well if you are what you love,

And you do what you love,

I will always be the sun and moon to you.

And if you share with your heart,

Yeah! You give with your heart,

What you share with the world is what it keeps of you.

I love my Coffee and Coffee loves me. Does that count? Of course.

As time speeds up, I find myself stepping back and realizing many people do things they don't love. We perpetuate this horrible notion in our society that we need to burn our candle at both ends, and it really makes no sense. As I progress more in my efforts to live a more sustainable life and try to lend help and hope to those who wish to do the same, I find that we need to work on making ourselves more sustainable. I haven't been to bed before midnight or slept past 6:30am or worked less than 10hours a day in weeks... as much as I really try to enjoy my many going's on, I find it's already begun the take over of my physical and mental health; I'm constantly struggling to find the balance between challenging myself and being realistic with what I can handle. Either way, I know I have a lot to work on.

Speaking of things I love, as some of you know... I took a trip to Charlotte, NC, to participate with Charlotte Fashion Week. It was a really awesome experience, though chaotic and disorganized, but I met some cool people and absolutely loved the design team I worked with (check out the ladies of Green Label Designs!). Unfortunately, my good time was cut short as my beloved Nikon camera was stolen out of my room during a meeting at the venue. There's no mistaking it was swiped out of there (if you really want the whole story, hit me up) and it's such an unsettling feeling to know 1) you can't trust anyone, and 2) that your honest-to-goodness hobby -- something you did love -- has been sabotaged. Ugh.

I felt bad crying about it. I really did - there are kids going hungry every night and here I am wiping the snot from my face over a piece of equipment. I wasn't even really that good at the whole photography thing. But still, it was a hobby I planned to develop further and it was something I really loved doing; it provided me such a feeling I didn't quite get from my other pursued interests. It took me years to save and even longer to convince myself to actually buy it... and here I am back at square one. Now all the moolah I've been stashing to buy more professional accessories and possibly take a master class on technique is going back to the "basic" fund. Le siiiigh...

And yet, I keep trying to convince myself to remain positive and keep things in perspective. It might "turn up"; this might be my chance to save for a new, better camera and explore the bigger possibilities in photography; and thank goodness I didn't have anything else in the room that was worth taking.

So, I just today completed two presentations with their accompanying papers, so I think I'm going to treat myself to an early bed time (11:30pm! yeaaah!). And goodness knows this is my last opportunity before the weekend... I, along with a few other awesome GA's, are taking a group of students to Athens, GA, to attend the Southeast Student Renewable Energy Conference and I'm SO excited to learn and connect more with what I'm interested in, and a chance to bond off-site with fellow Green Quad Learning Center people is going to be a nice shake-off from the usual. :)

Is it too early to begin the countdown to Christmas break?

The Obligatory "I've Been Gone for a While and Here's What I've Been Up To" Post.

Greaaaaaaat day in the morning!

(Err, evening!)

I'm back, y'all... and only mildly more mental than last few posts. I would begin with the usual apologetic sentiments necessary after such a long hiatus, but let's face it: we're all busy. Despite the 90 degree heat (talk about unapologetic), the "fall" kickoff is like plucking a small pebble from a huge pile of rocks... once those suckers start rolling down hill, they only speed up until they make their way to the end. And, my friends, we're all barreling down the ravine until 2011 decides to show up. Or am I the only one who feels that way?

Things are beginning to fall into place. I don't know if it's so much that I'm "getting the hang of it," but more-so that I'm tired of falling behind so I push myself all the more further - even if it means really late nights and super early mornings. I haven't cracked yet (and maybe because I'm already pretty darned crazy). On the contrary, with each assignment or job I accomplish and pull off fairly well, I feel like I can go a little farther on the next one. And, at the core of it all, I really like what I'm doing:

MA Public Administration

- So, I really didn't want to believe grad school was going to be this hard, but it's definitely a kind of pressure I'm not used to. There's SO much reading and papers and data and oiy... and the idea we're graded on only a couple of major assignments FREAKS ME OUT. The 'but'? I secretly enjoy the readings and find that many of them are practical applications of higher concepts: "real world theory," if you will. Of the three classes I'm taking, there's only really 1 I'm having issues with... and that's a whoooole other post. My classmates are all so different, but we get along really well and have a nice network of support. The bonus? I feel like I'll actually use what I learn when I get out into the working world... HIGH FIVE!

Graduate Asst. w/ USC's Green Learning Center

- I've always felt this itch to be involved with something greater than myself and do so wholeheartedly. I like getting my hands dirty, making connections and new friendships with people, and being functional member of a lively, focused community. And, for the most part, the Green Quad scratches that itch. =) There are several staff members in the GLC, including faculty, department staff, graduate assistants, undergraduate interns, community volunteers, and PhD assistants - they're all pretty cool! Though, it's been a LOT of work as my role includes:

.:: TA-ing and managing a class with our faculty advisor for incoming freshman to explore sustainable values and learn about the green philosophy through action and discussion (they have to write a lot of papers... aka, I get to grade all of them!).

.:: Acting as the project coordinator for experiential learning, community service, and undergraduate research.

.:: Assisting with the Community Education Team.

.:: Serving as the graduate advisor ("liaison") to our S.A.G.E. (Students Advocating a Greener Earth) group and making sure we have successful organization and leadership.

.:: And working on a project team to promote the green philosophy in our learning center and for others around campus.

Yupppp.... my stipend covers a 20hr work week, and between meetings, office hours, helping instruct the class, and all the work I have to do outside of the GLC, it's definitely far more than 20 hours... but the experience has been interesting thus far, and I'm hoping to really leave a positive impact on students this year and beyond!

Group Fitness Instructor

- Though I have plenty of experience taking classes, it's FAR more intense when you're actually trying to instruct. I've successfully completed 2/3's of my official BODYPUMP instructor certification, and the last step is submitting a full video tape of myself teaching the class next month. I'm currently co-teaching the class with another girl who's going through the process, and she's got prior instructor experience that lends well to us helping each other out. On top of all the BODYPUMP training, I'm also going through a USC wellness semester-long curriculum for teaching group fitness. It's helped a lot with my current training for BP, I get to assist with several other classes throughout the week, and I'm really excited to (hopefully!) go for other certifications in the spring. For now, there are SO many nit-picky things and lists of things to remember (choreography, technique, timing, cues, memorizing muscle groups, etc), and I'm spending lots of time outside the gym practicing all that. I'm actually really glad it's as intense as it is because I'm certainly learning a lot and how to do it all the right way and teach others how to do it, too. Now if only I could afford some really adorable work out clothes... PS. I'm on the website! http://campusrec.sc.edu/ (Let it scroll a minute, you'll see it!)

So, my point of all that? I'm alive, just struggling with time management... I'm not ignoring you all. :D

I'll have more enlightening posts soon (I have my first Columbia foodie post in production!); but, again, I felt the need to explain my absence... and let you know I'm not giving up on the blog, just trying to get the rest of life in control and moving in the right direction.

Oh, and yes, still trying to save the world. Better start it off with a good night's sleep!

(And for Pete's sake, I make those little category thingys below so you could comment without actually having to use a complete sentence. It's okay to use it, people!)