My Last Day as Reigning "Little Miss Sunshine State"

It's odd the morning I leave Jacksonville, the sky is overcast and dotted with a few thick, dark clouds. What's even crazier is that there are a few open spots shining through, and those are brighter gold and blue than the darker clouds are dark. It's the final symbolic gesture to wrap up my time here: Mostly blah, lots of heavy moments, but all certainly are trumped by those glimmering beacons of hope.

What can I say, I'll take anything as a sign. I've never felt more ready to take on the next adventure.

This past week was a little emotional, for different reasons than you'd expect. First, I surprised how the Corps didn't seem to make a big deal about saying good-bye. That was that, life moves on. I suppose many of them are staying behind in Jacksonville, but c'mon -- we were forced to band together for 10.5 months! It made me sad, really, that we had the perfect opportunity to bond... but something never clicked. It's a lesson in life, I suppose. One of those "dark, thick clouds." That's not to say I won't miss several of them, and I fully intend on keeping up with those crazy kids. It's nice to think I'm among future cool people of America.

In other ways, the "good-bye" process went just as I imagined, almost better. I squeezed in several dinner and lunch dates with some of the people I have grown very close to over the last year. I got my fill on my favorite Jax foods, hugs, and even random exchanges of parting gifts; and I'm so happy I have a collection of Jacksonville memories, both physically and emotionally. This is definitely one of the bright moments, and it's even more comforting to know I can visit anytime and they'll be right where I left them. :)

I wish I could elaborate more. Unfortunately, I'm due for my apartment's walk-through in an hour, and I still have some last minute stuff to do! Not only that, but my internet is about to be shut off, so I'll have to update soon. After all my official moving-out nonsense is taken care of, I'm headed to Hilton Head Island, SC, for the week with John's family. What a perfect vacation at the perfect time! It's so nice to think I can enjoy myself without having to bring my laptop along "just in case I need to get work done." Ha!

Now, as for the survey, time and energy have failed me. BUT, here's where YOU get to do some active reading: In the form of a comment, email, text message, Facebook post, whatever, I want you faithful readers to answer just one of the following questions:

1. How would you describe me (Celia) to friend of yours I've never met?

OR

2. What is one of your favorite/most memorable times together with me?

My favorites will be displayed (and further explanations will be provided, if needed) in an upcoming post. So don't delay!

With that, I'm off to defrost my refridgerator...
Can't wait to see what you guys come up with!

I'm Neither Betwixt Nor Between; But I Am Sorely in Need of a Drink

My apartment is so depressing. I've spent the last 72 taking things off walls, out of drawers, and down from shelves and putting the random pieces of my life into tidy little white boxes. I attempted a valiant effort at a mass cleaning and packing event, but we all know that's a valiantly wasted effort. Rather, I've started in corners and cleared areas in spurts, systematically going through nooks and crannies and discovering little things I forgot I had stashed away.

It's a little ironic, really. At the beginning of this whole AmeriCorps/Jacksonville experience, I was right in this very same spot -- stuff thrown everywhere, bare walls, and nothing really set up other than the essentials: my bed and my kitchen stuff (and honestly, by "kitchen stuff," I mean my microwave and my coffee pot). Then, my belongings were merely displaced; now they're in limbo. I find myself dealing with the process of packing the same as unpacking: fervent moments of stacking, packing, and sorting, frequently interrupted with dance breaks to a favorite forgotten song on Pandora Radio or to scarf down a frozen dinner over a TV episode on my computer (then, it was downloaded "America's Next Top Model" episodes from YouTube; now it's borrowed "Sex & the City" DVD's from Tracy). I wonder if I should feel pathetic as to how I've handled these transitions? Or really, is it slightly poetic as to how I've come full circle?

I'm getting nervous about the next two weeks; I'm out of Jacksonville as of July 24th, and I still have so much to get done. I normally work well under pressure, but lately I've tried not to think about all the chaos that's about to ensue: for instance, I've stayed up until ungodly hours of the night over the past week working on stupid little details for our recognition ceremony this Thursday. Consuming myself with these quirks makes it easier to forget that it's going to be at least another month before my world really settles again. I'm terrified of not being able to handle it.

John still hasn't heard about the transfer decision to either of the SC law schools, and there's a lump in my chest that gets bigger with every day there's no news. This past year was the hardest thing being away from him, but I know we needed it. After so many years together, we needed to see each other with a fresh pair of eyes. We went through half of high school and all of college together -- we began to take for granted the big moments of life we experienced together. This past year made us discover more about ourselves indepently. And now, as our seven year anniversary approaches next month, I realize my life could've ended up much differently had John never come my way... but I'll never have to know how that life went. Rather, I get to look forward to more personally defining experiences with John holding my hand -- and giving me a good ol' fashioned pat on the ass after a job well done.

And with that, I feel another packing/cleaning spurt coming on, and I desperately need a shower. Did I mention my car's AC is broken? Right. Not only am I "fresh" from the gym this afternoon, I've sweat quite a bit from the 102 Florida heat and humidity. Gross.

Nine days and counting.

No Need to Put My Face on a Milk Carton...

They say time flies when you're having fun; but lately, time seems to escape me, and I'm hardly having fun. I'm pretty sure I've suffered a mental and/or emotional black-out -- a coma induced by a reality check of epic proportions. But at the same time, my mind wanders back to recent moments of emotional intensity -- both good and bad -- and sometimes they feel so far away, often distant or dreamlike. I honestly don't know where the last few months have gone (hence my blogging hiatus), and now I'm left with two weeks to pack up my life in Jacksonville and be out in one fail swoop.... Again, hardly any fun at all.

I'll try to update you all more on that later...

Most of you keep up with my random Facebook status updates and know what I'm up to, I'm sure; however, I find it difficult to inject any sentiment into 140 lousy characters... though I find it irritating when people assume that's its purpose. Side note. Still, I feel like I fell of the horse, so I'm easing back into this whole blogging thing. It's still Friday for another couple of hours, so I'll kick it off with another survey!

The "I'm Baaaack" Survey!

Are you dating the last boy you talked to?
Gross - the last guy I spoke to was Gary, the meat-head YMCA floor manager. His (unnatural) biceps were bigger than my thighs.

Do you love someone?
I might as well face it - I'm addicted to love. :)

When is the last time you took a nap?
I actually took my first nap in months a couple days ago when I got off training early. It was 45min of heaven!

What are you listening to right now?
Pandora internet radioooo :) Sufjan Steven's "Romulus" is the current song -- and yes, I checked "I like this song"!

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Melissa, the heart-less wench from the PODS customer service.

What was on your mind most today?
Wondering how many more months it'll be until the Pumpkin Spiced Lattes make their seasonal arrival?

Something that happened today that made you angry?
After eating my crappy frozen "authentic" Chinese dinner, I looked on the back of the container to notice it was 180 calories per serving... and there are 2.5 servings to a box. There was NO WAY it could feed 2.5 people, people!

Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
As a woman, I am forbidden to display any feelings. I'm also not allowed to cross the street by myself, drink any alcoholic beverage that comes from a can, or poop.

Do you wear makeup?
I think there's a law stating I'm not allowed in public without it.

Are you missing someone?
Michael Jackson.

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Yeah, if you're MJ!

Would you date/hook up with your brother's best friend?
Survey, you haven't met my brothers, have you?

Who was the last person you hugged?
Miko, Erin & Joel's dog. We hung out tonight because they're out of town. I gave her a good night hug before I left. She burped in my face.

Who was the last person you talked to in person?
I dun told you, Survey! Gary the meat-head!

What are you doing tonight?
Sadly, this survey, followed by tracking down AmeriCorps recognition ceremony details...

What did you do yesterday?
Kicked ass. Took names. Put gas in my car.

Are you happy right now?
I'm sedate.

Are you cold?
John says I can be frigid.

First thing you do when you wake up?
Thank God for making it another day. Then hit the snooze button.

What do your friends call you?
"C", Corndog (recent favorite), "Miss C"

Do you cry a lot?
I weep for my generation sometimes: Lady Gaga, "Birthday Sex," cellular devices that function on a higher level than the average citizen...

Would you prefer to date a celebrity?
I actually secretly would love to go on a date with one of the "funny guys" and see if they're just as fun and witty in person as they are when equipped with fancy script writers and make-up artists.

What are you doing tomorrow?
Jacque's baby shower, Peace Tile project, kick more ass.

Last movie you watched?
"My Sister's Keeper" with Virginia & Leslie. Doesn't get the DVD award, but it was worth the 2hrs.

If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive?
Hells yeah! I am Wilderness Advanced First Aid certified!

What is your favorite color?
Yellow!

Who was the last person to say they loved you and when?
John, of course, earlier today. He simply adores me!

Do you like your parents?
They remind me of cartoon characters. They're great. :)

Which do you prefer, to eat or sleep?
Eeeeeat. I can sleep later, but I can't pass up free food.