Jumpin' ga-jose-phat! Has it really been two weeks?
I beg your pardon on the unnecessary creative hiatus. I'm afraid it's due to a biggie-sized combo of factors -- hold the mayo. The truth is, I needed a hiatus from everything; and while I'm not sure I totally got what I was looking for, I think certain things have become clearer. My quest to find that magical restart button of life led to being bludgeoned in the head by the apathy stick. As "Jimmy cracked corn" and I didn't care, it consequently created a lack of focus and left me short on every fuse. My work performance tanked; I became frustrated over the stupidest stuff; I was unable to sort through conflicts with other people; I mentally and physically internalized everything I was upset about; my mood ranged from one extreme to the next in a short period of time; and I averaged about 5 hours of sleep every night (which, in turn, led to a pathetically haggard appearance). It became more than a breaking point or burnout; I collapsed in on myself, and I also convinced myself that coming to Florida was, hands down, the stupidest decision I've ever made. Nothing could make me happy or feel comfortable in my own skin. So, I went home.
The weekend following my last post (and prior to this one), I left Wednesday evening and spent a glorious five days in the Palmetto State. John was visiting Aiken over his spring break from law schoo'; not having seen him in five weeks, I relished in the fact that we had no major plans and had a few days to be at the mercy of our whims. Highlights: Carolina BBQ (I ate 2.5 plates full... plus dessert), sleeping until 9am (hey - that's late compared to 6:30am!), catching up on movies and episodes of Lost, an afternoon at the Aiken Steeplechases (like the Carolina Cup, but a little smaller and more family oriented) and my favorite -- lazy morning conversations over coffee and the news. Even John's family was in a good mood; it made me brilliantly happy we could all exist contently and pull out a few laughs along the way. PS. We discovered a new board game called "Things" and I'M HOOKED!
John left obnoxiously early on Sunday morning (3:30am, to be exact), and I took off for Myrtle Beach for a day with my family. My grandmother and great aunt and uncle were visiting, so we took them to a cheesy Myrtle-esque show called "Legends" -- an impersonation show. It was a hoot, and I had never been. There was a little old lady (yes Erin, from Jersey) in the audience who was celebrating her 100th birthday. My grandmother asked what about her secret to a long life. Her reply?: "Take your vitamins... with a little bit of gin." Fabulous. =) The evening continued with old people politcal talk and an amazing seafood dinner in Pawley's Island.
Overall, my SC weekend didn't exactly "restart" anything; I realize none of us will ever be so lucky. It did, however, help me take a deep breath of fresh air and shake off the rut I've been carrying for weeks. The six hour ride home gave me a quiet opportunity for reflection. It took me the rest of the week to really redo my perspective; while I was still distracted at work, I was more motivated to get it together.
The great crescendo of this whole Florida/AmeriCorps experience came on Thursday morning. I had my mid-year evaluation with my "new" site mentor (AmeriCorps translation: boss); her name is Kim, and she may as well have been my real site mentor this whole time. As a lot of you know, my official site mentor went on maternity leave 4wks into my term of service at the YMCA School Age Services, leaving me with slew of potential projects -- but no resources. Even when she came back, my original SM brushed me off like a dippy little intern. After a series of attempts to engage my SM in actually doing her job, it was decided that Kim should take over. I'm ecstatic! Kim had pretty much stepped in from the beginning; and now that she knows what to do with me, life at the Y has gotten much better. Back to the eval: So Kim and I spend a good 45min in her office as she commented, critiqued, and complimented my efforts as a member of the office. In a nutshell, she said she'd like me to take a little more initiative in jumping in with my ideas and learn not to get so frustrated with people and things when they don't work out, but she's overall impressed with my performance, my ability to have figured out things on my own, and taking care of things no one else in the staff could. Her biggest compliment was that I brought a positive energy and was the biggest "happy light" in the office; she also hoped I'd come back next year to help her finish the projects we're getting started. I didn't really answer her, but I smiled and said nothing's final yet.
So do I know where I'm going to be 6mo's from now? No.
I am I hopefull it's all going to work out? Yes. =)
Side note: My last few posts have been pretty down-and-dumpy, but never fear! I'm over that for now. I also had a few people comment that I write long posts, and I do. I have uncontrollable word vomit, and I figure there's no need to delete it after all that. So, you can suck it and read it in installments. JK - I'm going to try to write smaller posts more often and see if that works! If you're capable, I'd love for you to add yourself to my "followers" (up in the top right corner). It let's me know if this is worth it or not!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have at least another hour or so to be productive.
Or, I can bask in the final moments of my lovely weekend. =)
BREAKFAST AT TARGET By Celia "Golightly"
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Beware the Ides of March
It's been yet another uneventful and relaxing Sunday following a unnecessarily busy and long week. I know I always say I'm happier when I'm busy, but sometimes I could just gag at the thought of another weekday...
I had a lot of things to write about, but I can't even begin to remember what they were. I'm trying hard not to lose interest in this blog; I enjoy being able to come back to posts and see what was going on at certain points along this "journey" through adulthood (and Florida). However, I'm so ancy for a chance at something that's out of the ordinary; I can hardly bare the monotony anymore. I've lost motivation for lots of things, and I forget to look at what's going on around me. I'm stuck in rut. I thank God for the weather, though. It makes me happy.
I bought a new journal a while ago; it's an old-school notebook with a "French countryside" pattern (basically lots of red, blue, green, and yellow flowers) and a green leather strap. I used to write all the time, and I loved it. Looking back at my "work" from late junior high and early high school is pretty dramatic (and horribly misspelled), but it's so me - circa ten years ago. I'll never share it with another living (or dying, for that matter) soul. I'm happy keeping my romantic, girlish notions in the past.
The problem is, I bought the journal about 3 weeks ago. I have yet to write anything in it. I choke every time I try to hit the pen to the paper; I can't remember how I used to flood 4-6 pages at a time in my old girly patterned notebooks. I think I'm going to start jotting down random ideas and thoughts from throughout the day; maybe even be sure to write down quotes I come across -- or even those I randomly stumble on (my office is full of funny, awkward moments). Maybe it'll come back to me. Maybe those romantic, girlish notions were of far more substance than I gave them credit for....
Highly unlikely.
Speaking of which, in an unexpected conversation during a recent service project, somehow we got on the topic of marriage. I blurted out, "Ugh. I'm NEVER getting married." I was surprised to have so many pairs of eyes cut towards me like laser beams; I gulped big and wondered what was so wrong about what I'd said. "How could you say that?" "Why wouldn't you?" The fact is, I couldn't verbalize what I had meant to say -- the statement was more that if I never got married, I wouldn't think it'd be the end of the world. I've always been terrified of marriage; I was never the little girl planning my dream wedding. I was so scared of divorce and getting fat from having kids. I still am. My biggest fear? Having to "settle down." Having to put my plans on hold for someone who might not support it later on. Having to constantly be at the mercy of walking eggshells and trying to impress the significant other's... well, "others." I still have a lot to do. I don't like being seen as "half." And I've simply heard too many stories from friends, family, co-workers, etc., that a wedding ring is more of a ball-and-chain than a beautifully cut symbol of love.
Okay, I have no idea where that came from - but I wrote it and don't feel like deleting it and coming up with something better. I just bought a new book, and I'm anxious to get to it.
Happy light at the end of the tunnel: Aiken on Wednesday! I'm leaving my site a little early on Wed to visit in Aiken for a couple of days (hooray for Carolina BBQ and the Steeplechases with John!) - and it's the big thing motivating me through this busy and overwhelming time with AmeriCorps. I have a 4.5 hour drive coming up, so I'm asking you all (yet again) to submit your favorite songs - old and new. My iPod is bored with my music (and I'll admit, I'm itching for some new tunes), so send them my way! =)
With that, I'm hoping this week will be the "restart button" I've been needing for the last couple of months.... and maybe my "luck of the Irish" will kick in. And if luck doesn't work, thank God for Irish beer.
Three best to have in plenty - sunshine, wisdom and generosity.
Irish Triad
I had a lot of things to write about, but I can't even begin to remember what they were. I'm trying hard not to lose interest in this blog; I enjoy being able to come back to posts and see what was going on at certain points along this "journey" through adulthood (and Florida). However, I'm so ancy for a chance at something that's out of the ordinary; I can hardly bare the monotony anymore. I've lost motivation for lots of things, and I forget to look at what's going on around me. I'm stuck in rut. I thank God for the weather, though. It makes me happy.
I bought a new journal a while ago; it's an old-school notebook with a "French countryside" pattern (basically lots of red, blue, green, and yellow flowers) and a green leather strap. I used to write all the time, and I loved it. Looking back at my "work" from late junior high and early high school is pretty dramatic (and horribly misspelled), but it's so me - circa ten years ago. I'll never share it with another living (or dying, for that matter) soul. I'm happy keeping my romantic, girlish notions in the past.
The problem is, I bought the journal about 3 weeks ago. I have yet to write anything in it. I choke every time I try to hit the pen to the paper; I can't remember how I used to flood 4-6 pages at a time in my old girly patterned notebooks. I think I'm going to start jotting down random ideas and thoughts from throughout the day; maybe even be sure to write down quotes I come across -- or even those I randomly stumble on (my office is full of funny, awkward moments). Maybe it'll come back to me. Maybe those romantic, girlish notions were of far more substance than I gave them credit for....
Highly unlikely.
Speaking of which, in an unexpected conversation during a recent service project, somehow we got on the topic of marriage. I blurted out, "Ugh. I'm NEVER getting married." I was surprised to have so many pairs of eyes cut towards me like laser beams; I gulped big and wondered what was so wrong about what I'd said. "How could you say that?" "Why wouldn't you?" The fact is, I couldn't verbalize what I had meant to say -- the statement was more that if I never got married, I wouldn't think it'd be the end of the world. I've always been terrified of marriage; I was never the little girl planning my dream wedding. I was so scared of divorce and getting fat from having kids. I still am. My biggest fear? Having to "settle down." Having to put my plans on hold for someone who might not support it later on. Having to constantly be at the mercy of walking eggshells and trying to impress the significant other's... well, "others." I still have a lot to do. I don't like being seen as "half." And I've simply heard too many stories from friends, family, co-workers, etc., that a wedding ring is more of a ball-and-chain than a beautifully cut symbol of love.
Okay, I have no idea where that came from - but I wrote it and don't feel like deleting it and coming up with something better. I just bought a new book, and I'm anxious to get to it.
Happy light at the end of the tunnel: Aiken on Wednesday! I'm leaving my site a little early on Wed to visit in Aiken for a couple of days (hooray for Carolina BBQ and the Steeplechases with John!) - and it's the big thing motivating me through this busy and overwhelming time with AmeriCorps. I have a 4.5 hour drive coming up, so I'm asking you all (yet again) to submit your favorite songs - old and new. My iPod is bored with my music (and I'll admit, I'm itching for some new tunes), so send them my way! =)
With that, I'm hoping this week will be the "restart button" I've been needing for the last couple of months.... and maybe my "luck of the Irish" will kick in. And if luck doesn't work, thank God for Irish beer.
Three best to have in plenty - sunshine, wisdom and generosity.
Irish Triad
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Orange Mocha Latte Frappachinos.
It's moments like this that make me feel that life has a much greater potential than even I can imagine. Right now I'm brilliantly content; which, ironically, I prefer over being mind-numbingly happy. Contentment affords me the lovely state of relief and hope, and it usually coasts over a longer period of time; extreme "happiness" or good fortune leaves me second guessing what I did to deserve it... and is ultimately plagued with anxiety over how and when it's all going to end.
I've had a simply wonderful end-of-the-week and weekend so far; I don't want to jinx it, as I've still got a day and a half to go. In lieu of an update, I've decided to entertain you all with a survey I found circulating good old Facebook. I wish I knew how to take these seriously... =P
1. Do you like blue cheese?
YES.
2. Have you ever been drunk?
Today?
3. Do you own a gun?
Just my right arm and my left arm.
4. What flavor of Kool Aid was your favorite?
Whatever the blue one was. I'm still convinced that's what "blue" tastes like.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
After being the poster child for medical mysteries... nope.
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I want one right now: slightly burnt, covered with chili and relish, and complimented with a 40oz of Miller Lite. Pepcid Complete optional.
7. Favorite Christmas movie?
Elf & White Christmas. Everything about those movies makes me happy.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Hm. I'm not really an AM drinker; my Mama always said wait until at least 10am. I like the occasional splash of vodka in my Fruit Loops though.
9. Can you do push ups?
Properly?
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
My St. Cecilia pendant and pearl ring from the Carrolls.
11. Favorite hobby?
Mullet hunting.
12. Do you have A.D.D.?
What the crap, Survey? You're not my psychologist.
13. What's your favorite shoes?
Again, Survey. Your grammar is killing me. I can't even focus on the question...
14. Middle name?
"Beefcake." Oh wait. That's A.C. Slater's.
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
I still want that hotdog and 40oz.
Why am I not at the beach?
Why am I not at the beach with my hotdog and 40oz?
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
Coffee
Water
BBQ sauce
18. Current hate right now?
I have to wait until Tuesday night to see Anoop-Dawg again.
20. How did you bring in the New Year?
With John, Erin, and Joel - polishing off champagne after a serious sushi escapade.
21. Where would you like to go?
Um, right now: THE BEACH.
Otherwise: Anywhere I can recharge... I'm burnt.
22. Name three people who will complete this?
Carlton Banks
Hulk Hogan
Pee Wee Herman
23. Do you own slippers?
Several pairs. None of which I bought myself.
24. What color shirt are you wearing right now?
Who said I'm wearing a shirt?
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
What's sleep?
26. Can you whistle?
I leave that to the fellas. Otherwise I'd whistle at myself all the time.
27. Favorite color?
Yellow.
28. Would you be a pirate?
Hell yeah. Life on the sea gettin' crunk on rum while searching for booty? Where do I sign up?!
29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Beethoven's VI.
30. Favorite girl's Name?
Winnifred.
31. Favorite boy's name?
Olaf.
32. What's in your pocket right now?
Sunshine.
33. Last thing that made you laugh?
Watching a little old Asian lady kickin' it during the Zumba class this morning... it helped pass the time manning my stupid booth at the open house.
34. Best bed sheets as a child?
My parents made me sleep in the yard. Builds character, you know.
35. Worst injury you've ever had as a child?
The 27-stitches-in-the-head incident. It's a great happy hour story. Call me.
38. Who is your loudest friend?
I think it's a requirement to be loud if you want to be my friend.
39. How many dogs do you have?
Currently two living with me. :)
40. Does someone have a crush on you?
Large Marge.
41. What is your favorite book?
The Encyclopedia Brittanica (I'm actually serious).
To read?: Black Beauty, Deception Point, Memoirs of a Geisha, anything by Jane Austen.
42. What is your favorite candy?
3 Muskateers and Raisinettes!
43. Favorite Sports Team?
CAROLINA GAMECOCKS
44. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Something 80's... Probably "Don't You Forget About Me" from the Breakfast Club soundtrack. That or "Straight Up" by Paula Abdul.
And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is quality entertainment. HA!
I've had a simply wonderful end-of-the-week and weekend so far; I don't want to jinx it, as I've still got a day and a half to go. In lieu of an update, I've decided to entertain you all with a survey I found circulating good old Facebook. I wish I knew how to take these seriously... =P
1. Do you like blue cheese?
YES.
2. Have you ever been drunk?
Today?
3. Do you own a gun?
Just my right arm and my left arm.
4. What flavor of Kool Aid was your favorite?
Whatever the blue one was. I'm still convinced that's what "blue" tastes like.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
After being the poster child for medical mysteries... nope.
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I want one right now: slightly burnt, covered with chili and relish, and complimented with a 40oz of Miller Lite. Pepcid Complete optional.
7. Favorite Christmas movie?
Elf & White Christmas. Everything about those movies makes me happy.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Hm. I'm not really an AM drinker; my Mama always said wait until at least 10am. I like the occasional splash of vodka in my Fruit Loops though.
9. Can you do push ups?
Properly?
10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
My St. Cecilia pendant and pearl ring from the Carrolls.
11. Favorite hobby?
Mullet hunting.
12. Do you have A.D.D.?
What the crap, Survey? You're not my psychologist.
13. What's your favorite shoes?
Again, Survey. Your grammar is killing me. I can't even focus on the question...
14. Middle name?
"Beefcake." Oh wait. That's A.C. Slater's.
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
I still want that hotdog and 40oz.
Why am I not at the beach?
Why am I not at the beach with my hotdog and 40oz?
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
Coffee
Water
BBQ sauce
18. Current hate right now?
I have to wait until Tuesday night to see Anoop-Dawg again.
20. How did you bring in the New Year?
With John, Erin, and Joel - polishing off champagne after a serious sushi escapade.
21. Where would you like to go?
Um, right now: THE BEACH.
Otherwise: Anywhere I can recharge... I'm burnt.
22. Name three people who will complete this?
Carlton Banks
Hulk Hogan
Pee Wee Herman
23. Do you own slippers?
Several pairs. None of which I bought myself.
24. What color shirt are you wearing right now?
Who said I'm wearing a shirt?
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
What's sleep?
26. Can you whistle?
I leave that to the fellas. Otherwise I'd whistle at myself all the time.
27. Favorite color?
Yellow.
28. Would you be a pirate?
Hell yeah. Life on the sea gettin' crunk on rum while searching for booty? Where do I sign up?!
29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Beethoven's VI.
30. Favorite girl's Name?
Winnifred.
31. Favorite boy's name?
Olaf.
32. What's in your pocket right now?
Sunshine.
33. Last thing that made you laugh?
Watching a little old Asian lady kickin' it during the Zumba class this morning... it helped pass the time manning my stupid booth at the open house.
34. Best bed sheets as a child?
My parents made me sleep in the yard. Builds character, you know.
35. Worst injury you've ever had as a child?
The 27-stitches-in-the-head incident. It's a great happy hour story. Call me.
38. Who is your loudest friend?
I think it's a requirement to be loud if you want to be my friend.
39. How many dogs do you have?
Currently two living with me. :)
40. Does someone have a crush on you?
Large Marge.
41. What is your favorite book?
The Encyclopedia Brittanica (I'm actually serious).
To read?: Black Beauty, Deception Point, Memoirs of a Geisha, anything by Jane Austen.
42. What is your favorite candy?
3 Muskateers and Raisinettes!
43. Favorite Sports Team?
CAROLINA GAMECOCKS
44. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Something 80's... Probably "Don't You Forget About Me" from the Breakfast Club soundtrack. That or "Straight Up" by Paula Abdul.
And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is quality entertainment. HA!
Monday, March 2, 2009
Baffling Blunders and Nails on a Chalkboard.
Bullshit: (n) usually vulgar : nonsense ; especially : foolish insolent talk [source: Webster's Dictionary]
Bullshit. Pardon my bluntness, but I'm le tired. Le tired of stupidity; of trying to do the right things and it being a literal waste of my time; of things being issues for completely unnecessary reasons; and just tired of being a fully capable young lady and being denied to show what I've got. The BS Chronicles as of late are as follows:
.:. How about I spent 3 weeks hoarding recyclables: cans, bottles, cardboard, you name it. For those who've seen my apartment, you know I have very little space. I designated a sizable chunk of my living room to sort and store my aluminum and plastic tidbits until I couldn't take it anymore. Not trusting the Jacksonville city crew, I called multiple "recycling facilities" asking where I should turn in my wares, and they only took scrap metal. I drove around to two different county centers, and neither one of them would accept my collection (which at this point, consumed my entire backseat). Bummed, I wearily drove home and decided to give our blue recycling boxes a second chance. This morning, I noticed the blue bucket was empty. I thought, "Huh, that was simple enough!", only to let curiosity get the best of me. I looked in our large dumpster just up from the street, and there were was once-nicely organized stock of recyclables sprawled amongst the common garbage. No wonder this world's going to hell in a hand basket.
.:. I've been waiting for a pair of darling mustard-yellow, frilly-"vintagy" Mary Janes from Target.com to go on sale for about two months now. I've been checking religiously at least once a week since. I check again yesterday, and Holy Moses! They're on sale! I go to order my delicious little shoes... and they ran out of my size. Not even close. Gaaah!
.:. I'm pretty sure John's family has been waiting for me to come along; I make a pretty phenomenal black sheep. Even after 6.5 years of trying to situate myself, I still feel constantly on the periphery. Sure, I enjoy a good fart joke and make pretty stupid comments, but I can't be all bad. Eh. It's been one of my biggest anxiety issues for years. Hard to explain. If you take me out for a drink, I'll be happy to do so. Just ask Tracy.
.:. I miss my Columbia friends. A lot. Not sure if you guys are reading this, but I'm trying my hardest to come visit! Just when I get enough hours saved up, I can't take anytime off. I haven't had a free weekend in months...
.:. Speaking of which, I'm not sure if staying in FL for another term with the AmeriCorps is the best idea. Not that this year has been horrible, but I'd just hate to wind up somewhere that's going to be more of the same. I've been kidding myself that things are going to get easier this whole time; I simply can't expend anymore energy on hoping and wishing and praying. I'm not saving the world by doing stupid projects at the YMCA. And Jacksonville seems to have things well enough in order. Plus, I miss real BBQ and Mexican food.
End note: I don't deal with BS very well, and I think I've decided to make my life mission to start cutting through the red tape, getting rid of the ingrates, and telling people straight to their faces how they need to shape up and fly-right. Personally, I think it's one of the silver linings of this whole cataclysmic recession; time to get rid of all the excess BS frills and thrills. Time to clean out "those kids" from agencies and companies (you know, the people who bailed on group projects, leaving YOU to do the whole thing... the night before it's due). There are plenty of good people waiting for a chance to make something of themselves; I say we give it to 'em. Clearly, we don't have much to lose anyways.
I'm not bitter; I'm just fired up. I think I've had my "Ah-ha!" moment. Sort of... to be revealed later.
Good side note: I had a pretty interesting weekend with similarly interesting people. I'm hoping for a repeat in the near future. =)
Bullshit. Pardon my bluntness, but I'm le tired. Le tired of stupidity; of trying to do the right things and it being a literal waste of my time; of things being issues for completely unnecessary reasons; and just tired of being a fully capable young lady and being denied to show what I've got. The BS Chronicles as of late are as follows:
.:. How about I spent 3 weeks hoarding recyclables: cans, bottles, cardboard, you name it. For those who've seen my apartment, you know I have very little space. I designated a sizable chunk of my living room to sort and store my aluminum and plastic tidbits until I couldn't take it anymore. Not trusting the Jacksonville city crew, I called multiple "recycling facilities" asking where I should turn in my wares, and they only took scrap metal. I drove around to two different county centers, and neither one of them would accept my collection (which at this point, consumed my entire backseat). Bummed, I wearily drove home and decided to give our blue recycling boxes a second chance. This morning, I noticed the blue bucket was empty. I thought, "Huh, that was simple enough!", only to let curiosity get the best of me. I looked in our large dumpster just up from the street, and there were was once-nicely organized stock of recyclables sprawled amongst the common garbage. No wonder this world's going to hell in a hand basket.
.:. I've been waiting for a pair of darling mustard-yellow, frilly-"vintagy" Mary Janes from Target.com to go on sale for about two months now. I've been checking religiously at least once a week since. I check again yesterday, and Holy Moses! They're on sale! I go to order my delicious little shoes... and they ran out of my size. Not even close. Gaaah!
.:. I'm pretty sure John's family has been waiting for me to come along; I make a pretty phenomenal black sheep. Even after 6.5 years of trying to situate myself, I still feel constantly on the periphery. Sure, I enjoy a good fart joke and make pretty stupid comments, but I can't be all bad. Eh. It's been one of my biggest anxiety issues for years. Hard to explain. If you take me out for a drink, I'll be happy to do so. Just ask Tracy.
.:. I miss my Columbia friends. A lot. Not sure if you guys are reading this, but I'm trying my hardest to come visit! Just when I get enough hours saved up, I can't take anytime off. I haven't had a free weekend in months...
.:. Speaking of which, I'm not sure if staying in FL for another term with the AmeriCorps is the best idea. Not that this year has been horrible, but I'd just hate to wind up somewhere that's going to be more of the same. I've been kidding myself that things are going to get easier this whole time; I simply can't expend anymore energy on hoping and wishing and praying. I'm not saving the world by doing stupid projects at the YMCA. And Jacksonville seems to have things well enough in order. Plus, I miss real BBQ and Mexican food.
End note: I don't deal with BS very well, and I think I've decided to make my life mission to start cutting through the red tape, getting rid of the ingrates, and telling people straight to their faces how they need to shape up and fly-right. Personally, I think it's one of the silver linings of this whole cataclysmic recession; time to get rid of all the excess BS frills and thrills. Time to clean out "those kids" from agencies and companies (you know, the people who bailed on group projects, leaving YOU to do the whole thing... the night before it's due). There are plenty of good people waiting for a chance to make something of themselves; I say we give it to 'em. Clearly, we don't have much to lose anyways.
I'm not bitter; I'm just fired up. I think I've had my "Ah-ha!" moment. Sort of... to be revealed later.
Good side note: I had a pretty interesting weekend with similarly interesting people. I'm hoping for a repeat in the near future. =)
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