Give Me Fake Cranberry Jelly Sauce or Give Me Death!

I'm not feeling particularly inspired, but I am feeling ancy about the up-coming week -- and writing seems to help get that out. This long weekend absolutely flew by, and I'm nervous about my ridiculously packed calendar through December... at first, I thought I needed to stay as busy as possible and rack in as many hours as a I can. But then I remembered there really are only 24 hours in a day... I'd better be careful.

Best thing, though: it makes the time go by so quickly and it makes me too flippin' tired to be sentimental (which is exhausting, as we all know!). John starts his first week of first year law exams tomorrow. I think it's good I'll be so consumed with my life so he can be consumed with his. It almost makes me want to get back into school and feel the rush of academic pressure... not.

I had an interesting conversation with an office friend as we were driving around to our elementary schools doing our grant testing; one of the ladies in the office had a daughter that went off to NYC for a year and recently returned. This daughter went to live with her dad and older step-sister, but things just didn't work out as planned. I told my friend, "Well, I give her mad props, though. I mean, I could never do that!" She spins around in the drivers seat and gives me the weirdest look, followed by the reply: "But Celia... you ARE doing it. You packed up and came here for the AmeriCorps, and you didn't know anybody!" I never thought of it like that, but it did make me feel better that people I'm just getting to know are rooting me on and have some respect for what I'm doing. It's pretty neat. :)

So, the random Thanksgiving updates (should you decide you want more elaboration on a particular event, let me know -- it would make a great random post):
.::. We have a crazy Russian lady living in our house. She's apparently been there for two weeks now... and she doesn't intend on leaving until February? If it wasn't awkward enough, she insisted I needed to become a mother as fast as I can... I don't think she even cared if I bothered with a hubby or not.
.::. My favorite neighbor back in Myrtle Beach, Heath, left for Colorado about a month ago because he wanted to "go home to die." He was a little crazy, a lot of gay, and obsessive about his health (we'd always run into each other when we would, well, run around the neighborhood)... it kind of took me aback.
.::. One of our cats apparently has a hideous anal abscess that was once thought to be a tumor... but it's just infected. I asked it never be mentioned while I was at the house... Noel thought it'd be funny to mention it over Thanksgiving dinner. And over and over....
.::. Speaking of which, I did the Thanksgiving feast in its entirety (well, give or take a few of the gals helping me chop up veggies and what-nots). Cooking is so theraputic to me. And I miss it.
.::. USC lost to Clemson. Boo.
.::. I was supposed to meet up with pals in Aiken last night, but for some reason, contact was conveniently lost when I got into town. No matter. I stayed in comfy clothes, ate way too much food (again) and hung out with John's family... it was a blessed break from life.
.::. I think I missed John most of all when I stayed with his family for a couple of nights; while I sat talking with his mom or little brother, it felt like he was going to come around the corner and ask what's up. I can't wait until Christmas... three more weeks!
.::. ((EDIT)) I completely forgot about my splendiferous (yes, splendiferous) time with the lovely law student, Minh (who will not exist until Dec. 12th due to first year law exams); the sassy L. Still, who's new mission in life is to bring back the fanny-pack (only if it's designer, of course); and my number one fan, Sarah O!, who somehow made a fatal error in her directions to lunch... but still showed up bubbly and bright as always. The afternoon included beers at 1pm, pretzel bread, a tropical sweet tea tainted with hand sanitizer, and a hilarious onslaught of racy (though mildly awkward) conversation.

Over all, this Thanksgiving break reminded me what I was thankful for... and also why I work out far more than the average bear (because I eat more than the average bear). Those crazed middle-aged ladies will be so disappointed at Tuesday's cardio class!

Ugh. Three more weeks. Nothing I can't handle (without a handle of Stoli's!).

Live (colorfully). Laugh (stupidly). Love (like a goofy labrador puppy).

It's simply not enough to "Be the Change." You must truly live it, and you must have some basis for it - whether it's motivated by God or some spiritual presence, a search for personal improvement, or to better a cause bigger than yourself, you must genuinely believe in what you are doing and what you hope to accomplish. Change is not a fanciful, abstract notion created by political elitists... change is the breath we take in and life we give out of ourselves. It's a piece of art, a hug, a new birth... it's the potential to inspire change in others.

I've come to find that my religion is people (besides Audrey Hepburn and coffee). The human race is what keeps me ever observant and curious about the world. I'm a terrible judge of character, but I do like to believe everyone has depth and some talent they can lend to others -- whether they utilize it or not. I do not wish to believe that people are born with a cruel and brutish nature. People can be born with freakish birthmarks and unnatural desire to poop... but we each come out with the potential to do good.

That being said, it's amazing how all it takes is one person to completely ruin my day. I don't like to think I'm sensitive -- if you have a true dislike for me, even if you can't explain why, I won't hold it against you. It means I'm not doing my job to be a good person to you. However, when I've gone out of my way multiple times to befriend you and hold you in high regard, I do demand an ounce or two of respect in return. Especially when you boast your reputation to be a "changer" of the world and a powerhouse of an individual, I expect us to be on the same team.

I'm sorry, those of you reading this are far from the people I'm speaking of. But this is my blog, and I can cry if I want to. Or something like that.

I can't believe how big of a turn-around my life in Jacksonville has done, especially for it being just under 3 months since my arrival. In the beginning, I was pathetically alone, bored to tears, and unproductive at my service site. Now I'm busy 90% of the time I'm awake, actively finding more about Jacksonville, hanging out with new (and super cool!) people, and staying mostly busy at my site. It feels like I've been here much longer than 3 months. I'm also making friends in high places, and it's proving to be a worthwhile shmooze-fest. Things might pan out that I'll be in Jacksonville after July... I'm not sure how I feel about that yet, but it at least feels good to have some direction in life. :)

And I'm happy to report, I did get my birthday cupcake... in fact, I got a whole cupcake-cake!!! My 23rd birthday was probably one of my favorites, if at least the most memorable to date, and I'm happy. I'm not fulfilled nor have I had that brilliant "a-HA!" moment yet, but I can say I'm happy. Thank you to all the AmeriCorps members, John, and friends and family from back home who made it so special!

Home is only 48 hours away. It'll be different without John there, but at least I'll get to see my family in Aiken and Myrtle Beach, which I'm excited for. This holiday season will definitely prove that things are changing... and hopefully remind us that some things never will. :)

Choking on My Desire... and that unnecessary slice of leftover pizza.

Sometimes I think I should've been born a red-head. I'd be far more interesting.
Sometimes I'm convinced I was born in the wrong decade. I'm sure I'd be better suited for another time.
Sometimes I dwell on the thought that I should have joined the Peace Corps. Florida lacks love and adventure. (And decent Mexican restaurants.)
Sometimes I wish I knew how to settle. It's exhausting having high hopes, higher expectations, and an outrageous thirst to see and know everything.
Sometimes I pray for a chance to be seen through a fresh pair of eyes. I'm always scared I appear far more "blonde" than I really am.

John came to visit this weekend for my birthday, the first time I've seen him for 2 1/2 months. I used to make fun of manufactured pop stars and glitzy divas who sang about falling in love over again - but Miss Spears and Whitney Houston knew what they were talking about (for once). I saw things in John I never saw before, and maybe it's because I never gave him credit... or maybe the distance shook the everyday image I had of John. Either way, it's funny how one person can speed up time and make your cheeks sore from smiling too much (on your face, you hooligans). I dropped John off at the airport this afternoon -- a big blubbering mess, as you can imagine -- and came back home to a wreck of an apartment. Good lord, that boy knows how to leave a mess. Funny thing is, I still haven't cleaned it up yet. It makes me feel like he's still here; like he's going to come back from his study session and I can yell at him to clean it up himself....

I'll get to it. Eventually.

Overall, I had a brilliantly lovely birthday weekend, considering my distance from family and friends. Friday, John and I spent the day wandering around St. Augustine - what a charming little walking city! The weather was a sunny 80 degrees and the breeze from the waterway was straight out of a movie - it gave my hair that dramatic windblown affect (yes!). The evening brought friends from SC (okay, and Megan - a transplanted Floridian now living in NYC, lucky girl!), and I can't explain how oddly it made Jacksonville feel "at home." The night was topped off with a much needed Fred Astaire movie (see - wrong decade). On Saturday, we participated in my monthly AmeriCorps service project: the Diabetes "EXPOsed" 2008 event. As some of you know, I have two little bros' who have Type I diabetes, so "the cause" is definitely close to home. It was a great excuse to hang out with some of my AmeriCorps pals, and also get John to see "how I do." I met some wonderful people in the health field, snagged some free goodies, and saw some interesting demonstrations and lectures. Afterwards, a few of us rambled down to a sports bar to watch the USC vs. UF game... a game we're not going to talk about. While the game stunk big time, I still managed to succumb to a state of blissful inebriation and enjoy damn good company (heyyy, Erin!). This morning was met with a window filled with sunshine and a long, full breakfast -- to which John and I remained in our PJ's as long as we could. We took a long walk along St. John's River with the dogs, then made it to Sunday morning Mass before John had to ship out. I prayed for his safe flight. I prayed it will never be 2 1/2 months before I see him again. I prayed my stomach would stop gurgling from the extra cup of coffee and turkey sausage links at breakfast... ugh.

My only gripe: I didn't get my birthday cupcake. Hmpf!

Well, 6:30am beckons like a diseased cat... it's scraggly and makes funny noises. What with this new administration, I think I'm going to start a petition to move to the Siesta System. If I ran for president, I would add daily naps to the Bill of Rights and have Pumpkin Spiced Lattes in every home. Economy-shmonomy! How do we expect this great country to function on an outrageously limited amount of sleep and being deprived of deliciously frou-frou coffee drinks?!

One thing's for sure: this experience so far has made me re-evaluate the important people and important things in my life... and made me slightly crazier than usual. Being marginally irrational is the only way I'm going to survive this whole thing... worked for Andy Warhol.

23 Is a Funny Number.

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde.

Dear friends, family, and countrymen - let us rejoice: We now commemorate the 23rd year of my ironic and aimless existence.

Here's to many, many more.

After all, it makes for great blog writing (which I was recently informed is generally a waste of time for most people. Too bad I'll never live up to the expectations of "most people" and I've stopped trying; it makes me dreadfully exhausted.). Speaking of which, I can't seem to keep my eyes open long enough to compose a decent post. I'm tired, but I'm happy. Not mindnumbingly or anything, but still fairly complacent. It was a great weekend, followed by a long though fairly productive weekend so far. And I think there are some great birthday weekend surprises ahead.... :)

When my energy and creative vibes return, I'll be sure to get back to posting something interesting. I actually a lot I'm dying to tell you all, including my stint as Barbie (yes! for real Barbie!), my towing adventure in 5Pts, my 4" tall Nazi Pilates instructor (whom I LOVE), and a few other AmeriCorps tidbits. Maybe even pictures!

I also owe a few shout-outs... those will come, too. :D


Happy. Birthday.

This Country Sure Needs Change....

Needs to change its attitude.
And its underwear, for that matter.
(How's that for a metaphor? The US of A takin' off its dirty drawers... oh yeah.)

I started a post and sat there, read it, then trashed it. This election has me in a funk. A funky-funk. Not good, not bad: the inner Anthropologist in me came out recently and I can't help but sit back and watch. It definitely feels funny being part of such a momentous part of history -- I don't think it's sunk in for me just yet. How will it be in 10 yrs or so when I'm telling my little blonde brats, "Yes, I was there when they called the election! I was on the elliptical at the YMCA in my little USC shorts -- you know, the shorts I'll never fit into again because of you? Now find some pants and get to school!"

It's weird - I sensed the whole country (and world, rather) sigh today. All the hype has died down, the people have spoken, and we're all moving on... no matter what side one is on, it's nice that we can finally stop the senseless "debates," the name calling, and the mudslinging just for a minute, and finally (though slowly) move onto something more important. Like my campaign to keep the Pumpkin Spiced Latte a permanent feature at Starbucks and not just when corporate America deems it "the fall season." Now that's something worth fighting for.

How lovely it is to be in a country where freedom reigns and we actually have the privilege of voting without being threatened or where the government is corrupt enough to overrule the people's earnest need for a good leader. I don't think we need to glamorize voting; there's no need to make it sexy or pretend you're smarter because you stood in line and punched a button. Be thankful you can exercise your right without having to sneak away from your house, hide your face, or put you or your family in danger. Blows your mind that your worst problem was the long wait, huh? But it's totally okay to skip class and stand in line for 4 hours for football tickets... Right.

I fear for my generation. I do. In the 80's, it was the "Me" generation; now it's that, but add in a little stupidity and a dash of laziness. I'm very proud of some of the friends I've come to meet over the years; I really feel I'll be in their presence of greatness one day. But then again, I find myself running into people with brilliant minds -- and the most embarrassing mouth I've ever heard. I should document this nonsense... It'll come back to haunt them one day. When Barack says "change", I sure hope he means an attitude adjustment. Nothing wrong with taking this country over his knee and giving it a good spankin'. Except I don't know what we'll do about the states where spanking is illegal....

I'm bad at politics. I don't see why we need 300 pages of legislation to basically say: "Don't kill people, you dummy!" or "You steal from someone, you're going to get in big trouble, mister." (Please take note of sarcasm - check.) But really, I think it's funny when people claim to be one of either party based on how they feel on one or two issues. I fall painfully in the middle, if this is the case, and I doubt I'll register either way in the near future. For instance: man, woman, shim, Jim, Kim, gorilla, hamburger, Eiffel Tower... marriage is a big fat concoction and I don't think anyone should get hitched -- unless you go through a rigid domestic bootcamp and prove you understand what "Until death do us part..." means (and bumping off your spouse doesn't count). After all, with the odds of 2:3 that you'll actually stay married for a long period of time, I think we should have divorcing ceremonies. What a show! And really -- spending $300+ on dumbass flowers that you'll never remember. Think of all the babies in 3rd world countries you could be saving! Think of all the babies here you could help!

I also think that parents of children who don't understand and facilitate "please" and "thank you" by the time they're 7 should be institutionalized. Same goes for people who adopt pets then put them on Craiglist because they were "just too busy for a dog." Gee whiz!

And that's my special election update.
Maybe I should've erased this entry, too....

Whatever, my birthday's a week from tomorrow! My wishlist will make an appearance in an upcoming post... should you be interested. :D