Y'all, it's not you.
 |
| (Sean Luca reflecting my sentiments.) |
It's me.
I've sadly come to the point where something has to give.
And for the sake of my waning sanity, the people I may not see for a long time after the next few months because of graduation, the people I may not see because I haven't made time for them, and the general status of life... Breakfast at Target is saying farewell.
Indefinitely?
I have yet to say.
I have NEVER been as busy as I have been this semester. Quite literally, my days are scheduled from 5:00AM - 10:00PM... and it's taking its toll. Even last semester, it was a heavy workload and I was super busy -- but this time, I'm running towards the next big step in life, and the pressure is mounting beyond what I can handle. Here's what I'm up against:
1.) A Capstone/Thesis Project that entails creating a report and plan for our Group-X team. It involves three major components of expanding our Group Exercise programming at the University, including special event development, bench-marking research with other peer institutions, increasing online and social media PR and presence, leadership and professional development among our instructors, research on student wellness, and tying it all back into the discipline of public administration.
2.) An independent study that involves co-instructing a service-learning course in which I'm responsible for student management and support, curriculum development, planning lectures and discussion, and grading/organizing student work. OH, and that's just the first part. The second is developing a paper in which I'm conducting interviews with students, program/site sponsors, and university administration personnel in areas of integrative and service learning; doing case study and benchmark research on similar programs; and projecting the forecast of service-learning at our institution by collecting data and researching current trends and historical development. My professor and I are lined up to present at three conferences on our paper.
3.) A course in higher education and student affairs researching trends in higher education, which entails a literature/book review; an issue brief where I have to breakdown a report on a topic related to higher education (and no, I can use either of the topics mentioned above); a report on a specific state the trends in higher education there (I chose Wisconsin); and posting/replying to articles posted by the professor and fellow peers... as Friday, I had over 200 articles/comments I had yet to get through (as of now, I'm at about 100).
4.) A presentation at a fitness conference next weekend at Virginia Tech - I've been working on it since last semester and I'm nervous I'm going to BLOW it. I'm bringing lots of candy for my participants just in case.
5.) Similarly: Planning and teaching 3 fitness classes a week, though I've subbed a good bit and have taught up to 5 classes on certain weeks.
6.) Several photo sessions I STILL have yet to get to because I can't find the hours to squeeze them in... I found myself staying up til midnight trying to get them edited and organized, only to realize I had to be up at 5:00AM... I had to start over several times because I should NEVER edit under the influence of late-evening coffee and mounting exhaustion.
7.) Working 20-30hr weeks for my boss doing community development and grant-writing work.
8.) Job hunting. My resume is a disaster.
Needless to say, I'm burnt and nowhere near the end. I've already scaled back on several things (eating and sleeping were the first to go), but I still can't find enough time or energy to get it done. I had a conversation with a friend recently who graduated last spring - like me, she was a high-energy person and hating saying "no" when she thought she could be of help. But in end, she got extremely sick after graduation -- to the point she was hospitalized. I'm on that road if I don't do something... and do it quickly.
After much deliberation, I've decided my dear, sweet, wonderful blog is something that needs to carefully wrapped up and put on the shelf for a while. Just knowing it’s one less thing I need to worry about eased some of the torment that is my To Do list.
Sadly… this may also mean I’ll be taking a step back from reading the blogs I have so long come to look forward to… at least, as involved as I may have been prior. It’s hard to read through some of the blogs and really enjoy them when I know I should be reading the crap-ton of other pieces mounting in my roster. I will checking as I can. I promise.
I feel like it’s really hard to explain to people how tired, busy, and broke I am lately. I promise I’m not being dramatic. It’s just hard to put down everything to catch a beer when I know my mind will be racing chaotically the whole time and wondering how I can afford - financially and emotionally - the time away from what I should be doing.
It sucks.
But I’m so close. 76 days to graduation.
There is light at the end of the tunnel.
It’s bleak and pathetic and dim, but it’s there.
If I can survive this, you bet I’ll be back - and it will be a GRAND return.
Thank you for your patience. Your empathy. Your hugs and tequila shots.
I love you all.
So long and fare thee well,
Celia
**That said, you can still find me on Pinterest, Facebook, and Twitter. Ten minute social media interludes are quite the brain-break between craziness...
