The Dramatically Mundane: Navigating Adulthood

My dear, sweet blog...

Via Instagram (@celiagwhiz)

 

... how I've missed you so.

There are an incredible amount of posts I've started and can't seem to finish; my words come out weak and tasteless and I've somehow forgotten the pure and wonderful art of simply writing. 

Or, writing simply.

Guess the best thing is to do is start again with a deep breath and a flex of the fingers.

Here goes.

I've now been a 'Missus' for two months and a higher ed 'professional' for three. Both the adventure of marriage and that of gainful employment have proven to be anything but smooth-sailing, and I 'spose I'm supposed to chalk it up to the survival of 'experiences' we're supposed to have, carefully chronicling and putting them in the back pocket of our lives. 

But sometimes, 

I just want to wake-up without the feeling like I need a
helmet and a flask of vodka to get through the day.

The job has been an interesting nut to crack. I'm having less days I feel completely stupid or a total failure, which is good. I guess. A girl trained in observations, in assessment and interpretations, I'm obsessive about efficiency and details, the big AND the small picture and the connections within... and somehow, lately, I've felt disoriented and apathetic and overwhelmed. I repeatedly tell the students I interact with to always think about the impact they've had in their projects and internships and career development experiences... and I'm often left to wonder if I'm doing the same. The desire to do so gives me some motivation to get up and get to work. Sadly, I'm also a girl who needs the occasional, though small, validation... I need to know I'm not a sallow-faced paper-pusher waiting on a paycheck, but truly a member of a team, an organization that wants to move forward and up and towards the brink of something really, really cool.

(That said, I really enjoy the paycheck, as modest as it is. I really, really like to eat.

Oh. And my co-workers are pretty fantastic. I'm lucky I'm surrounded by happy faces.)






Via Instagram (@celiagwhiz)

Marriage, however, has already proven to be a worthwhile endeavor. John and I are having real conversations about real things, like taxes and budgets and curtains. It's nice coming home and seeing him with arms open wide and a freshly poured glass of cab' poured just for me. He lets me rant and share stupid ideas and toot freely and STILL treats me like a lady. He genuinely cares we go to bed on good terms, wake-up with ambition, and take all the opportunities we can to learn, to grow, to improve. I've done my part to manage the household, make healthy meals, and seize opportunities to explore, to feel, to exist. No matter how frickin' fast the world seems to spin, no matter what load of crap life seems to throw at us, and no matter what fears or disappointments loom overhead, we always have favorite episodes of 30 Rock, healthy rations of bourbon, and an old, warm blanket to share. To remind us that we may be helpless and powerless and confused and worn-out... but, Lord, if we aren't tough to keep down. 

 

So, in a nutshell, I'm still adjusting to this daunting transition of adulthood, and I'm beyond grateful for your patience. Because, heavens knows, patience is a virtue I'm woefully lacking.
 

Via Instagram (@celiagwhiz)

(But if sass and ambition were virtues,

I'd be a downright self-righteous little tart.)

One day I'll figure it out.

Thank to you all of those still supporting me as I do.

 

 

Hugs & high fives,

C

Sorry to those who already follow on Instagram.
To those that don't, I follow back. And comment obsessively.

________________________________________

PS. Our rockstar wedding photographers are at it again - they put together a feature for Style Me Pretty and, as crazy as it seems, those silly SMP's decided it was worth telling the world about. Or at least a bunch of wedding obsessed readers. 

(You know the drill: Leave a comment for the hungry bloggin' folks.)